May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
