what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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