Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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