he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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