his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
