so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
