life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
