But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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