so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
