You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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