I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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