Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Jerry, you need to find god
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
