It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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