my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Help. Why am I so naked?
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