My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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