i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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