i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize