Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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