and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
