i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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