never play flip cup with pint glasses
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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