Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
