I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
