Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
