Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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