You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
