11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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