"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
