its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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