Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
