i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
