Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
