It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
