my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
