the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
