do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
