D3 body, D1 cock
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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