Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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