Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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