So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
