Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
