But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
