Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
