So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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