sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
