It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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