K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
If I die, sorry about rent.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
