we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
