i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i think i just lost a toe
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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