Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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