were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Oh god it's open bar.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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